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In the following, the Shared Concern method is abbreviated
into three steps which are the basis for mediation in conflicts as
well as treatment of group bullying.
It is important to always accomplish each step before
moving on to the next.
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1. Start with separate talks with the parties. These
talks pass through the following sub-steps:
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Let your conversation partner explain his or her personal
views and feelings about the conflict. As mediator you gain his or her
confidence by creative listening. No reproaches! Ask questions out of
genuine curiosity but make sure they are not emotionally loaded. The information
you receive will be used at the later steps.
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When confidence is established, ideas about a solution are
awakened. The question arises: which of his or her proposals could be accepted
by the opposite party?
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The mediator explains his / her conception of shuttle diplomacy
(to convey the constructive ideas of the parties to each other). When
its constructive aims and impartiality are understood the next step begins.
In mediation at cases of bullying the mediator/bully-therapist
starts with individual talks with the suspected bullies and ends with the
problable victim. The term "shuttle diplomacy" is not most often not an
adequate term in dealing with cases of bullying. |
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2. Shuttle diplomacy is carried out by the mediator
in the way that he or she explained it to the parties in individual
talks. The purpose is to prepare the "summit meeting" with the other party.
The proposals they indicated in the individual talks are confirmed and
developed. In bully therapy the "shuttle diplomacy" mainly consists in
the meeting of the group suspected of bullying.
The mediator/bully-therapist is more active than in the
individual meetings. He or she reinforces the constructive elements the
parties themselves have hinted and elaborates them. At the end of
the meeting the agenda of the forthcoming meeting with their antagonist
(or former victim or bully) is anticipated and the contributions
of the parties are prepared. This summit meeting is not decided before
the parties (bully suspects and the probable victim) have understood and
accepted the idea of shared concern and indicated some hopes of a shared
solution.
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3. The summit -- the negotiation/reconciliation
sessions of the parties together. The positive beginning of the
summit meeting is well prepared by the mediator who also chairs it. The
mediator tolerates reproaches by the parties against each other. If they
are crucial they must be handled not in order to investigate guilt
but to reinforce suggestions for their resolution. If a positive result
is not reached hold a new meeting after a day or two instead of trying
to persuade the parties. When they have reached an agreement, the mediator
asks: What should we do if one of the parties feels that the other side
is violating the agreement? Answers aiming at sanctions should be rejected.
The only thing to be accepted is an agreement that if serious offenses
should happen later on, new meetings would be held. Tolerance of lesser
wrongdoing should be mutually agreed. Short follow-up meetings with the
mediator are scheduled.
As is implied that if the parties are unequal in strength
(which is the usual case of group bullying) the approach of the mediator
(or bully therapist) is moderated so that the weaker party gets encouragement
in a way that does not cause resentment in the stronger party.
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